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| Many have asked, her name is pronounced Ann-zlee |
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The very first picture we saw of our girl. |
While in China with Andrew, our group would place bets on who would adopt again. I would always say "No-Never. we are done. done. done." or my trademark quote "If we ever go back to China, Jesus will have to come in my kitchen sit me down and say 'My child you have a child in China" Note to self--Never tell God no-Never say Never. His plans are always more perfect than ours.
On May 10th, 2011, Hal was driving in the car and he prayed "God, when we are supposed to adopt again let Angel bring it up" He repeatedly told God that I was the brick wall and that he was ready when the time was right. I had no idea about his prayers. That night I was sitting at my computer looking at all of the adoption blogs that I love to read. God was just impressing on my heart that our family was not complete. I turned around and casually ask Hal "So, since you know we are not done, which country are we adopting from this time?" The look on his face was priceless. He was so sure that I was the brick wall and he was speechless that just hours after his prayer, I would respond.
We begin to look into different countries and agencies. I will admit that in my heart, I always felt we had a daughter waiting in China. I just couldn't shake the feeling that I couldn't choose another country when I was so certain that our Ainsley was waiting in China. The next couple of weeks were very hard as we sought all of our options. There is such fear of making the wrong decision, choosing the wrong agency. I just wanted God to speak clearly to us so that we would know we were walking in His perfect will. A friend emailed me her agencies waiting child list and Hal and I fell in love with a little girl. I can't explain the heartbreak when you see a child, fall in love instantly, only to find out that they are not available. It is at that moment that it is the hardest to realize that it is all in His hands. We were placed on a waiting list for this sweet girl. During the next 2 weeks, we would look at many list but I was just sure we were going to get the call about her. On Wednesday, June 1st, we were sent the file of another precious girl. We once again begin to research her needs and felt as if God was calling us to her. Within an hour we had received a call that a mistake had been made and she was no longer available. I began to question my judgement. How could I fall in love with 2 children so soon? BUT God's plans are so much bigger. The agency was so nice and felt really bad about the mistake. On Friday morning, a new list was released and Ashton immediately called me to view Priscella. I sent an email to the agency requesting her file. My response came back very quickly. It stated "Angel, how strange that you would ask about this child. My China facilitator just sent it to me and ask me to share it with you." Only God could orchestrate this. We had to "fall in love" with another child, to find this agency. If we had not requested the first file, they would not have known who we were. We would not have been on the list to see our sweet Priscella.
We spent the weekend reviewing her file and sending information to doctors. We received several confusing and frightening facts about her. The agency was wonderful in helping us get more information. Each piece of the puzzle seemed more uncertain and scary. Ultimately we decided that adoption is a leap of faith. Nothing in life is guaranteed. We have been so blessed and our family is not complete. By Sunday we had sent our "Letter of Intent" to China formally requesting that we be allowed to parent this sweet girl. Until we can travel, we will pray for her daily. For healing, nourishment and protection for our Sweet Ainsley Faith. I have no doubt that God's hand is on our baby girl.
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." -Matthew 17:20
